


even with the seams stitched tightly, darling, scars will remain

by alysurr



Series: Seamista One Shots [5]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Bad Dreams, Chipped Sea Hawk, Comfort, Couples Counseling, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, Mermista and Sea Hawk in Therapy, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Therapy, chipped mermista
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:55:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26490760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alysurr/pseuds/alysurr
Summary: Mermista and Sea Hawk have been going to therapy to deal with their PTSD from the war, but it hasn't completely stopped the nightmares yet.Seamista September Prompt 15: Nightmare
Relationships: Mermista/Sea Hawk (She-Ra)
Series: Seamista One Shots [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1913623
Comments: 9
Kudos: 21





	even with the seams stitched tightly, darling, scars will remain

Mermista didn’t want to worry Sea Hawk. At least, that’s what she told herself. It was easier to hide when he was only gone for a few days, but this two-week-long voyage had definitely taken a toll on her. She woke up abruptly to the sound of a knock on her office door, her face on her desk. She sat up, the paper her face had rested on stuck to her cheek and rose with her. She pulled it away, revealing a wet stain of drool. 

_Super attractive_ , she thought to herself, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. How long had she been sleeping? 

Another knock, and Mermista reflexively rolled her eyes. “Come in,” she said, her voice raspy. 

“Your majesty,” ButlerGuard greeted with a small bow. “I am acting according to your request for a reminder of your appointment with your therapist in one hour.” 

Mermista nodded. “Thank you,” she said, stifling a yawn. After a moment, she asked, “are there… any other updates?”

“No word yet from Captain Sea Hawk, your majesty.”

“Okay,” Mermista frowned. 

“Is there anything else I can assist with, Princess?”

Mermista’s stomach grumbled in response. She’d slept through lunch. “Can you have someone bring something to eat up to my room?”

“Anything in particular?”

“No, probably just something light.” 

ButlerGuard nodded, gave her another quick bow and backed out of the room, closing the door behind him. Mermista stood up from the chair, reaching her arms over her head and stretching out her back. It was still early afternoon, he said he probably would not be back until the evening but… 

Mermista approached the large window that faced the marina and couldn’t help but feel her chest swell up at the view of the harbor and the many ships it currently held, the way it was bustling with people and activity. Signs that things were truly returning to normal in Salineas.

The war had ended two years prior, and the Princess Alliance and Former Horde leadership had made good on their promise to rebuild Salineas. There were still things left that needed to be done—there always would be, she thought—but overall, her kingdom was doing better than it was when she was a kid, even. Her father had few things to complain about the last time he came around, and that was, like, super satisfying. 

Still, the castle felt empty without Sea Hawk. Mermista felt her shoulders drop a little as she scanned for the Dragon’s Daughter XIII, hoping maybe he’d be docked and was on his way to the castle, but his usual spot was still roped off and empty. She turned to leave the room, heading towards her bedroom for a quick and hopefully energizing shower and to get ready for her therapy appointment. 

Therapy had been Glimmer’s suggestion. After way too many hours sitting between her and Perfuma, trying to do the meditation thing or breathe through her anxiety, Perfuma’s coping techniques didn’t work for either of them. Yoga was cool and sometimes she would do a routine on her bedroom floor if she felt like it, but meditation didn’t work for Mermista. The breathing and counting could stop her from having a full-blown panic attack if she started in time, and it did seem to help Sea Hawk when she’d talk him through it, so it wasn’t all a waste. Sometimes therapy helped, other times it would open up something in her chest that made her have to cancel plans and spend the rest of the day in bed or the tub or somewhere that wasn’t the castle. She was doing twice-weekly appointments in the beginning, and now she was doing every-other-week sessions.

After the shower, Mermista got dressed and sat down in front of the vanity in her closet. The dark circles under her eyes were larger and deeper than ever, her skin was dull, and felt just as tired as she looked. Some moisturizer, mascara and concealer helped her outward appearance, but did nothing for her exhaustion. 

In her bedroom, someone had placed a tray with a pitcher of water, fruit and a chilled crab and noodle salad on the coffee table in front of her lounge. After eating and drinking most of the water, Mermista felt a little better as her headache subsided. 

She met her therapist in their usual room on the first floor of the castle. Their meetings were always in the castle because she hated sitting in waiting rooms and… she didn’t want her people to think she was weak. 

Sea Hawk would tell her that having the fortitude to seek help when she needed it was the greatest test of strength of all, but those thoughts still clouded the back of her mind. 

Dr. Melody Hamish (“Please, Princess, call me Melody.” “Fine, but you have to call me Mermista, then.”) was a petite woman with short, dark hair that she somehow managed to keep sleek and straight, even in the Salinean summer heat and humidity. Mermista knew that her own hair was already frizzing up and she hadn’t even stepped outside. 

“How have things been going since our last visit?” Melody began, like she always did as Mermista sat cross-legged on the couch across from her and hugged a pillow to her chest. “To be honest, you’re not looking well.” Straight to the point and honest, which Mermista was normally thankful for. Even her friends still beat around the bush with her sometimes and it was frustrating when they handled her like she was made of glass. 

“Mostly okay. I haven’t been sleeping,” Mermista admitted. “I'm trying, trying to keep a routine and do everything I can to relax myself… usually, falling asleep isn’t the problem, though.” She thought about the accidental nap she had earlier—it had gotten to the point where she would get so exhausted she’d finally fall into an involuntary but blessedly dreamless sleep. She was embarrassed to admit that this wasn’t the first time it had happened that week. Or last week. 

“I take it you’re having nightmares again?” Mermista nodded, hugging the pillow tighter. “Are they still the same, or any different?”

“Same. I’m either chipped and attacking my friends or my people, Sea Hawk is—” she stumbled—“chipped and attacking me, or those _stupid—”_ she spat the word— “hive mind flashbacks. It’s been… a lot of those.” 

And they were arguably the worst of them. Of course watching herself try to drown her friends was horrifying. The images of the love of her life fighting her or trying to choke her out or their home up in flames were awful. Still, it was nothing in comparison to the true horrors she had witnessed from the hive mind. Mermista shook her head, trying to get rid of those thoughts.

The doctor grabbed her attention, asking, “What has changed the last two weeks?”

“Nothing. I’m still taking my medication every day at the same time, right before I go to bed. Still eating the same stuff, still working and training just as much.”

“Avoiding excessive amounts of caffeine?”

“Ehh,” Mermista said, grinning sheepishly. Melody gave her a Look, and Mermista frowned. “Hey, you try reading and writing trade agreements and route contracts, or going to policy meetings without some stimulation.”

“You told me that Sea Hawk was going on a long trip last time we met? He’s still gone, isn’t he?” Melody asked, changing the subject now. 

Mermista nodded, averting her gaze and twisting the engagement ring on her finger nervously. 

“Don’t you think that’s a pretty big change?”

Mermista shrugged. “I guess.”

“It has been a while since he’s gone on a trip, hasn’t it? And usually it’s just a few days, half a week or so.”

“Yeah, maybe three months ago,” Mermista recalled.

“And when he’s not here, nobody else is in the castle at night, right?”

“ButlerGuard stays here. His living quarters are on the first floor. And two of the cooks do, too, they have a small house on the property, and a kid. And there’s always at least two guards on the grounds at night.”

“Not in the castle, and not on your floor, though, right?”

“Right.”

“Have you talked to Sea Hawk about the nightmares recently? What does he do when you have them while he’s here?”

“Ever since I stopped having night terrors, he hasn’t really had to do anything. I don’t…have… the nightmares... when he’s here.” She lowered her voice with each word, the last few barely a whisper. Dr Melody simply nodded, staying quiet for a moment as Mermista processed what she'd just said. 

Mermista made herself busy, taking the pitcher of water from the side table and pouring herself a glass. This was Sea Hawk’s doing, a pitcher of water in every room she was supposed to be in. She was pretty sure he bribed the staff to stay on top of it, because “you need to drink more water, dearest.”

“You do always seem less stressed when he’s here,” Dr. Melody stated.

Mermista snorted. “Depends on the day, but yeah, I guess.” She shrugged, taking a drink and setting the glass down. “It’s just, like, knowing he’s there with me, and I’m not alone, it relaxes me, I guess.”

“Does he snore?” 

“Ugh, yeah. Not like, the way my dad does or anything, but he does.” Soft and constant, a sound that puts her to sleep almost instantly, especially in addition to his heartbeat.

“Sometimes white noise like that can help alleviate nightmares.” 

“Yeah, but I can’t force him to stay here every night just because I can’t, like, handle being alone for a few days. It’s not fair to him. He doesn’t like staying in one place for too long, he gets antsy and, honestly, can really start getting on my nerves. He just… can’t stay away from the sea for that long.”

“I know. His therapist and I compare notes.” 

Mermista laughed through her nose. “Figures. But he hasn’t met with his doctor in a few months, I thought?” Sea Hawk had ‘graduated’ from therapy about half a year ago. He still had nightmares sometimes, but they were few and far between and he seemed to have faced his demons. They had also worked on a lot of things in their relationship, both as a result of their own personal growth and with the help of a few sessions together. 

“No, you’re right. But that’s not what I meant—maybe you need another source of white noise for when he’s not here. There are these little machines that you plug in and they make constant noise that helps people sleep—it really helps infants and other trauma survivors such as yourself get to sleep and stay asleep.”

Mermista nodded. “I mean, I guess It’s worth a shot. I’ll have one of my staff get one for me to try out next time he’s gone, since he’ll be back tonight.” 

* * *

_The images played like a horrifying film, but instead of watching them on a screen, she was living them. She was standing in the center of an underwater city. It was gorgeous, the buildings sparkled and refracted light like glass, or maybe jewels. The residents were a mix of merpeople, seafolk and alien creatures Mermista couldn’t describe in Etherian. A dark, black, gooey substance flowed toward the city from behind her. It was almost beautiful, an iridescence swirling through it. More and more of the substance passed her, and it began to stick to the buildings, flowing upward. The residents were running away from it, and Mermista felt helpless as she watched a childlike merfolk get caught in it, releasing a blood-curdling scream as soon as the substance touched them. After some time, the entire city was engulfed in it. She wasn’t on Etheria. This was one of the lost planets, merely a memory… but the citizens were real, they had been real._

_And now, they were gone._

_The scene changed. The land below her looked like it was made from clouds. She wanted to touch them, but her arm wouldn’t extend. The residents of this planet all had beautiful wings that looked as if they were made from sea spray, not feathered like the Queen Angella’s. A shriek sounded from above her, and a body fell in front of her, landing on the ground with a thump. Deep violet liquid poured out from the chest of the alien, where an arrow the size of a harpoon had pierced their chest. A scream—was that her?—erupted. Their corneas were black and irises an intense shade of blue-violet, and the pained expression on their face made Mermista’s heart ache. The sound of laughter filled her head._

_After the light faded from the being’s eyes, the scene changed again._

_Mermista felt faint in the familiar location, Alwyn, a town just south of Bright Moon. As she watched villages engulfed in flames, the pained and horrified screams of the residents piercing her ears. She wanted to help, to use her hydrokinesis to summon water to throw over the flames, but she had no control over her own body. What was this feeling she was experiencing now? Warmth and… enjoyment. No, this wasn’t her—it was Prime._

_Laughter erupted from behind her, the familiar sound making her heart flutter. A pair of arms wrapped around her waist. She was able to turn, facing Sea Hawk, dressed in the white Horde Clone outfit with his hair slicked back. His eyes were the same shade of dark brown they always were, but the expression on his face was… cold, even as he laughed._

_She heard the sound of a sword being drawn, and couldn’t react as she felt him stab it up under her rib cage. She looked down, coughing up blood as more of it poured out and stained her own white uniform._

_Looking up, she stared into neon green glowing eyes._

_Mermista screamed._

* * *

Sea Hawk no longer needed to be escorted by a guard to Mermista’s—to their—living quarters. He entered and left the castle at his leisure now, even had a special place to dock the Dragon’s Daughter XIII now after too many delays while waiting for a spot to open up in the harbor as Salineas got busier. It was late afternoon now, he was surprisingly on time. The gifts he brought back from his travels would be brought up to the castle later. 

In the main room of the castle, ButlerGuard was standing and speaking with another member of the staff. He looked up at Sea Hawk when he entered the room and nodded. “Her royal highness is in her chambers,” he said.

“Thank you,” Sea Hawk responded, heading towards the stairs. He took them two at a time and walked quickly down the hallway, breaking into a sprint at the sound of screaming. He burst into the bedroom, gripping the handle of the cutlass at his hip.

Mermista was laying in the middle of the bed, tangled up in the blankets, her face scrunched up as she choked out sobs. Her chest rose as she let out another blood curdling scream, and Sea Hawk ran to her bedside, letting the sword fall to his side as he did. 

“Mermista,” he said calmly as he placed a hand on her shoulder. Her expression softened a bit, brows furrowed. He repeated her name, the way her therapist told him to all those months back when her night terrors were getting particularly awful. He thought they were over.

It took three more times, repeating her name and rubbing her back before her eyes opened. She gasped, shoving herself away from him with wide, fearful eyes, moving so fast he was worried she’d fall off the bed, so he grabbed her ankle. 

“Get off of me!” She cried out, hot tears running down her face, as she kicked at him.  
“Mermista, dearest, it’s all right—it’s me,” Sea Hawk said in a soothing tone, still holding onto her ankle. “It’s just a bad dream.” 

Mermista’s face softened as she finally realized where they were. Then she deflated. Sea Hawk opened his arms just in time for her to throw herself into them, causing them both to fall back on the bed. She buried her face in his chest, and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head as he stroked her back softly. After some time, both of them silently holding each other, Mermista grumbled something into his shirt. 

“What was that, dearest?”

“I’m sorry… I came up here to chill and unwind after my therapy appointment, and I must have fallen asleep,” she said, lifting her head. 

Sea Hawk chuckled. “You don’t have anything to apologize for. I’m sorry I wasn’t here earlier to stop it sooner.” He untied his bandana from around his neck, using it to wipe her face before setting it on the bedside table. Now that he could really see her face, he frowned. “You look exhausted, Princess.”

Mermista nodded. “It’s been a long two weeks,” she admitted. 

“What’s been going on in my absence? Are the city-states giving you trouble again? Have you been eating and drinking enough water?” 

“No, and yes, I have been. I’ve just been…” she buried her face into his chest again, muffling her next few words. 

“Misty, you don’t have to hide from me,” Sea Hawk said, looping a finger under her chin and gently lifting her head. She sighed. 

“I’ve just been having trouble sleeping alone,” she admitted. Years ago, even last year, saying those words would have caused Mermista to drop dead on the spot from embarrassment. But she’d made a promise to him to be more… open about her feelings, when she could be. 

Sea Hawk exhaled, his shoulders softening as his expression did. A small smile lifted the ends of his mustache. “I didn’t know,” he said after a moment. 

“I didn’t want you to,” Mermista said. She averted her gaze, staring down at the skin the little triangle cut out of his shirt exposed on his chest. “I want to be able to be strong on my own, I don’t want to have to rely on you to… just sleep.” 

“I understand,” Sea Hawk said softly. “And we can work towards that… but Mermista, I wish you had told me, so we could work on it together and ease you into it. I could have made arrangements to cut this trip in half, or not go on it at all.” 

Mermista shook her head. “I don’t want to do that to you, Sea Hawk. I know you don’t like being tied down. I meant it when I told you that I didn’t want to get in the way of your… adventures and travels and… arson and stuff.” 

Sea Hawk chuckled, then reached down to take her hand. He straightened the ring on her finger, bringing it into her view, then intertwining his fingers with hers. 

“Dearest, when I gave you this, I meant it when I said I’d always be wherever you needed me. There’s always time for adventure in the future, and I know we’re going to have many to look forward to together. There is no greater honor in all of Etheria than spending my life by your side. If it meant I could always be with you, I’d burn my ship to the ground and never look at the sea again.” He pressed a kiss to her knuckles. 

His words made her face melt into a soft expression, one that used to be so rare but he had seen it more and more over the last year. Her amber eyes sparkled as she studied his face, her cheeks flushed, a soft smile gracing her lips. 

“Did you discuss it with Dr. Melody today?” Sea Hawk asked. Mermista nodded. 

“She actually had a few ideas…” They made plans to explore them all over the next few weeks, to see what worked and what didn’t, really. 

At some point, the princess fell asleep curled up in the arms of her pirate.

[Bonus: My drawing of Chipped!Seamista from earlier this month!]


End file.
